hello to a new season! and i don't mean fall...

The summer has long come & gone. Although here in Florida we are only just now catching glimpses of fall weather. like wearing jeans during the day doesn't make me sweat bullets anymore.

The summer months were definitely a busy & full season. But the biggest chunk of our time has been our transition back into full-time ministry. Yep. No more sales job for matt. And back to single-parent Saturdays & Sundays for me. But this round we are feeling more content in knowing it's where we are meant to be.

It was definitely a process, one that the hand of God was truly evident. I'm always amazed at how perfect His timing is and how He prepares our hearts even if we aren't always aware at that moment.

When we first visited the church back in January, I saw a table in the lobby for the Emerge Leadership Academy and told Matt that it would be perfect for him. He loves playing music, but he is most definitely called to discipleship...mentoring others and discovering & developing their gifts. While I just said it in passing, it planted a seed in both of our hearts. 

Through a crazy list of happenings, here we are again in full-time ministry. Matt is currently a worship leader/band director at our church & the Co-Director of Emerge. It's been an awesome time of being stretched & used, developing new relationships & putting roots down. This place is home and that feels soooo very good. 

Matt leading worship last weekend.

While Matt was more than ready for this transition, I was a bit hesitant. I know the irregular hours, the tightly budgeted lifestyle, and the extra events that come with being on staff at a church. But the Lord has been re-directing my heart back to Him & His people instead of my own selfish desires. I'm finding my middle ground between my ministry being my family & my family being there to do ministry. 

In August I attended a Dare to Be event at our church with Natalie Grant & Charlotte Gambill. It rocked my world & readjusted my perspective to a completely different angle. {If there is an event near you, GO! you won't be disappointed!} While these ladies were here to minister, they had traveled with their families for a little vacation. After all  we do live in a vacation paradise. Charlotte, in speaking to one of her kids, said that we go to church to help fill others up & in that we are filled. While that may sound selfish to some, it was so reassuring to this tired & drained momma. Because when we go to church, I'm corralling, feeding, dressing & buckling in 4 kids by myself. That is exhausting! But knowing that because I go and let the Lord use me, He will renew my strength. And in the mean time I get my heart filled to overflowing with grace. 

So now both Matt & I are walking in a place where we are called to use our gifts for the Lord on a regular basis. What more could we ask for?! When we are faithful with the little, He gives us much...even in time & rest. I feel like the women the Bible talks about in 1 & 2 Kings who have nothing "except a little". And God takes that except & makes it exceptional. 

seriously. read it!

TRUTH: 2 Kings 4:1-7

The woman only had a little oil to give, but out of her obedience & faith she gathered all the oil jars from her neighbors and poured into them. She then sold the oil & was rewarded for her obedience, not just to cover what debts she had, but with extra to live on. Only a gracious God can orchestrate something like that.

Where & how are you trusting God to make your "except" into EXCEPTIONAL?!

psst! stay tuned for a giveaway tomorrow! you won't want to miss this!!

fanning a flame deep within my soul

i've been gone...for a while now. {sorry.}

truthfully, i'd lost the vision for this little space here. or rather, maybe i was just fighting it to the death. trying in vain to hide from things so deeply rooted in my soul that it was just easier to shut down rather than to try to avoid it while writing. ya know, cause out of the heart the mouth speaks...or the fingers type.

but it's been welling up lately. it's caused a restlessness in my soul. and as my pastor said a few weeks ago, "the enemy uses restlessness as a means to kill, steal & destroy our souls." as i tried to squelch it, it surfaced in other areas. until it flat out hit me in the face a couple of days ago when i realized that all of my efforts had failed.

the Lord creates us all to work together as the body of Christ, each performing unique & equally necessary roles. and what you are created for, you can't escape. {sorry.} it eventually leaks out without you noticing. that's exactly what happened to me. the Lord began to whisper names of friends into my ears. i reached out to each person via a text, phone call, social media, etc. leaving each of those conversations feeling complete & encouraged. i immediately began to think that i was just lonely & longing for more intimate friendships. wrong! i realized that loneliness was just the mask the was covering my restless soul...truthfully, my soul that was longing to use the gifts that God had created it for. as i reflected on these conversations i realized that He had used me to speak life & truth into hearts. even though i didn't try to "use" my gifts, He sure as heck did!

exhortation..

speaking truth in love.

communicate. challenge. comfort. console. cheer on. counsel. community. conflict. choices that are God-honoring.

ya wanna know the funniest thing, i'm totally an introvert.
i'm an introvert & God has chosen to use me with a gift of communication. i mean seriously?! i have to stretch outside of myself & my cozy little comfort zone so many times in just pure obedience. like the "i'm tired & i don't want to but i'm gonna do it anyways" kinda obedience. but when i feel something pulling my heart away, i know i need to dig in even harder. because i choose Christ & His truth, in my life & the lives of those around me, over the believing in the lies until they just aren't enough any more...because in the end, they never are.

and another realization, yet totally a sign of God's intricate design at work, my love language is words of affirmation. that means i receive & show love best by speaking it! how incredibly awesome is that?! if you can't find a sense of purpose in something like that, your eyes might not be totally open.

ok back to my vision for this space...this place where i'm transparent about motherhood, being a pastor's wife {yes, matt's back in the ministry again}, raising boys, life with twins...i was afraid to be too "preachy. but i've come to realize & understand that part of my personality & giftings, is a personal & practical application of the TRUTH. i will still share all the parts of my life because as i've shared before, i know that the Lord has asked me to go before others in circumstances in order to be able to speak into their lives. because out of our trials, come our testimonies that touch hearts of others.

i also know that i have not been communicating His truth as loudly & clearly as i should. not every post will be a preaching, but i hope you will find some comfort {& laughs} in my mishaps. some companionship in knowing you aren't doing this crazy life alone. and definitely find me cheering you on, even if from afar. just know that there will be a little more Jesus showing in this place.

so here's the truth i'm leaving you with: read ephesians 4:1-16. it speaks truth of our gifts & how we are called to use them...all of us together.

   He handed out gifts above and below, filled heaven with his gifts, filled earth with his gifts. He handed out gifts of apostle, prophet, evangelist, and pastor-teacher to train Christ's followers in skilled servant work, working within Christ's body, the church, until we're all moving rhythmically and easily with each other, efficient and graceful in response to God's Son, fully mature adults, fully developed within and without, fully alive like Christ.

what has He gifted you with? and are you willing to use them? 

flashback friday: an adventurous june

in our family, over the last 7 years june has proven itself to be a big month for our family.

i wouldn't say good things or bad things, just life-impacting/changing things. 

for instance...

in 2005 we got married

in 2006 we got pregnant with ben

in 2007 we moved into our house

in 2008 we got pregnant with gabe

in 2010 matt traveled to nepal & we got the scary news about the twins

in 2011 we put the house on the market & became minivan owners

and i'd say those are just the highlights.
phew! i'm tired just reminiscing.
so as you can see, i wasn't just mincing words when i said life-changing things happen.

and as today is the 1st day of june,
i'm anxiously awaiting what this month has in store for us. 

one thing i do know for certain is that ben graduates from preschool tonight. 

i'd be content with that for our life-impacting occasion of june for 2012.
that...or my bestie {who was also born in june} has her 1st baby!

HAPPY SUMMER!

giving up on good adventures: sunday morning church

you know how sometimes there are good things in life that just aren't the best things for your family?!

well recently, we've discovered going to church on sunday mornings isn't the best thing for us.

now, wait a sec!

it's not that we are skipping church altogether. we are just choosing to go on saturday nights instead. and it's been an awesome surprise!

truth: for several years, i went to church out of duty. 

the duty of a good christian woman. the duty of a pastor's wife. 

the duty of a mom trying to raise God-loving little men. 

and that was all fine. 

sometimes i think you have to just get up & go even if you don't want to or feel like it. 

but i longed for more...

now that matt isn't preoccupied on sundays, i thought things would change...until he got asked to play on the worship team. i knew it would only be a matter of time. i just hoped it would take longer i guess. either way, it's happened. in all honesty, him being a part of the worship team is what helped make our shift from sunday morning church-goers, to saturday night church-goers.

when it comes down to the facts, saturday night allows him to be more available to help me with the unloading/loading up of kids. the church also serves a family meal before service. so we meet matt there {as he's gone ahead for practice}, eat dinner together, put the kids in childcare available for the worship team, and then i sit. i sit & unwind. i'm able to prepare my heart before worship. it's been a long time since i've been in a place where i'm ready for what God has in store before service starts.

y'all this was me on mother's day weekend...before church.
awesomeness!

y'all know what i'm talking about right?! the hustle & bustle that seemingly only comes on sunday mornings as you bust out the door, usually running just a little late. yeah, that. and doing that for years by myself with my growing tribe of boys {and my trusty sidekick of a stroller}...it exhausts me to think about it.

but now our sundays leave room for rest & recouping from our saturday family adventures. we hang out, watch cartoons, pick up toys, catch up on laundry & go to our small group. i suppose in essence that our sundays have turned into what most do on saturdays. and coming from a season where we never really had weekends, this is a new experience.

i'd say that now we are in a season of refreshing. and that includes things like worship team childcare. and saturday night dinners & church. and small group meetings. and no more single-parent sundays.

adventures as His chosen people

sometimes we all just need a little reminder...

that He chose us.

that we are HIS.

that He calls us out of the darkness

and when we respond, we walk with Him in truth & light.

He speaks all of these things to us in

1 peter 2:9

what a great counter to the negative thoughts that can eat through us so quickly. 
the ones that say we don't belong.
we don't deserve. 
we are condemned & hopeless.


because they are all lies!
our lives were created with purpose & destiny.
we are blessed beyond measure with no other reason
than we are His.
and that is reason enough to declare His praises!!

i've always loved this verse. and i often times couldn't recall it correctly.

and then my amazingly talented husband wrote {& recorded} this song. 


go on now...click it & listen!

 chosen people by matt ruckel

now you all can join with me as it gets stuck in your head.... and hopefully your heart as well!

you're welcome!!

some of my adventures the past 29 years

long ago i had started a list of things i wanted to do in life by the time i turned 30. 

that was back when i thought life was taking me on a MUCH different course & that 30 was old. 

it definitely included things like start having kids & save money to buy a house.

welp...it's more like

 be done having kids

and find our 3rd house to buy.

i tried to come up with a list of things i wanted to do in this last year of my 20's. the last year of fun, or like my sister said, before i have to be responsible. but truth be told, i've lived a lot in my short 29 years. and frankly, i think i've already made a list of goals for the year & amendments to that list. 

so instead here are parts of my life that i want to celebrate! 

29 things i've done...no particular order

1. graduated from high school & college

2. travelled outside of the US {mexico, guatemala & spain}

3. lived in 4 different states

4. bought {and SOLD!} 2 houses

5. worked a full-time job

6. bought myself a car

7. been in a beauty pageant

8. learned to ride a bike

9. raced my dad's corvette around the texas motorspeedway

10. travelled to 34/50 states...maybe its 35

11. been proposed to 

12. got married to the love of my life

13. got pregnant & birthed babies 3x 

{yes only 4...remember, the last time was twins?!}

14. was a pastor's kid & then a pastor's wife

15. had cancer invade my life

16. experienced not 1, but 2 miraculous healings of my body

17. been a passenger in a car accident

18. been pulled over

19. driven at speeds over 100mph {see#9}

20. dyed my hair

21. learned how to snow & water skiing

22. played soccer

23. looked at colleges as a soccer recruit 

{even thought i didn't end up playing}

24. was a model

25. learned how to develop & print film

26. got my boating license

27. learned to play the guitar

28. also played basketball, softball, volleyball & ran track

29. started a business of my own

8 more days to vote!

adventures in the law of twins

does this happen to anyone else?!

i mean how am i suppose to keep up with twin toddlers without a fence?! 

it's gotta be the 

law of twins: 

move in the opposite direction of your sibling,
without stopping & as fast as possible.

thankfully, i have found a park with a fence!
it's a rarity & such a blessing.

bonus:
bathrooms & a picnic shelter

i'm calling it my little slice of heaven on earth.

at least with a fence i have a fighting chance of keeping up.
and the only way i can take all 4 boys to the park by myself.

{and if you've ever wondered how i lost my baby weight...
this should give you an idea how. haha! }

psst! help us make the top 25!
you can vote 1x each day until may 23!!