adventures in mommyhood: rediscovering things about myself

i'm definitely in a phase of life where

 i'm searching for & reevaluating a lot of things. 

i'm searching my heart & God's heart for me...for what He's calling me to do & who I am in Him. 

{i have drafts of posts that i've repeatedly tried to write for the last couple of months.}

and thus far, i've come up with these things:

my style as a mom of 4 active little boys. 

i'm no longer pregnant. i'm not longer breastfeeding babies. and i'm no longer just hanging out in my pj's every day just trying to survive. i turn 29 in a couple of weeks, so i need to remember to be age appropriate but still cute & stylish. and...i just moved a super humid climate. so what does my wardrobe look like now?

friends. 

i realize i keep saying that i don't have friends. that is INCORRECT. i DO have friends, a lot of them...all over the country. i realize that  i'm longing for friends here. someone to go out with: see a movie, grab dinner, or a shopping buddy. so far, my loving & willing husband has filled these rolls. but i cannot expect him to always do this or want to do this. but when you're at home or always have 4 little guys {literally} running around you in circles, how in the world do you meet people that want to be your friend?!

a little something i can call my own. 

not sure if you know this, but i live in a house with 5 other people who all happen to be male. yep, it's true. and for the most part i love doing the things that they love, yet part of me is yearning for more. i never thought i'd say this...but looking for something apart from them. something that just for me...yet within my very limited available resources of time & money.

a creative outlet of self expression. 

i love having a creative outlet & that looks different depending on the stage of life i'm in. i do not find myself artistic by any means but i have a good sense of design {what's pleasing to the eye}. confusing? well i mean, i can picture things in my head, but i can't always make things to appear as in my vision...does that make sense? in the past i've dabbled with doodling, photography, a little digital editing, home projects. so in short i like to re-edit or arrange not create from scratch. {you can follow me on instagram @kristiruckel}

rediscovering my what my strengths are & defining my passions.

i recently started to follow hailey at the tiny twig because she started a series about finding our passion in life. one of her posts was about discerning your strengths to help define your passion. i didn't take any tests this time, but from past tests & knowing my personality i'd say some of my bigger strengths are being relatable/relevant, adaptability & learning {or trying} something new.  now i'll be honest, my personality is one that is seemingly always trying to figure out what i'm passionate about. but in the end, i know it's young women...building relationship & through that being able to speak God's love into their life. i've come to understand that  i only know these things in part because i still am not in the place for the Lord to fully reveal his plan to me. but i will embrace these things as i know them & continue to always seek them out.

working on my weaknesses

ready for some truth?! i believe that we need all identify our personal weakness, otherwise, they can be an easy foothold to be used against us. i'm a slight introvert. meaning, instead of just running from one party to the next, i need some quiet to recharge before the next event. it also causes me to withdraw when things get overwhelming. these things are a constant battle, but one i know i can win with the right tools: a little quiet, a little bible time & some coffee. i've learned that i'm wanting some of the things above to help me overcome some of my weaknesses. and usually that means battling it out head on. 

so maybe this is my readjustment of my new year's goals. things for me to work & focus on.  i'll be writing on these areas of life in the near future. that means some what i wore & mommy style posts. hopefully some posts of playdates & things i'm doing to meet & develop relationship with new people. 

what about you...what are some things that you are searching for?

the adventure of making new friends

we are definitely in the hard part of this transition. we are feeling settled at home, but yet still don't have much outside of our home. and we are all yearning for it. craving it. ready to put in the effort of making & building new friendships.
but we are just taking one step at a time. making the effort & going through the process it takes to meet people, join a church, build relationships. and let's be honest, there's no easy way out or shortcut when it comes to these things. because it's not just about {matt} & i anymore...our boys need friends to play with and places to go as well. and i'll be honest, that makes me want to push harder. it breaks my heart that next friday is {gabe}s 3rd birthday & there aren't many friends to invite. he's asked for a party & cake & friends. i mean come one, how could i not?! especially when he says it in his sweet little lispy voice. so we'll be having a small party for him even though i have no idea what that looks like & it's a week away. typical me!

little gabers in his tent

in the last 2.5 months we've been here, we've pushed hard to establish ourselves. the light at the end of the tunnel is nearing. we've joined a small group & officially become members at our new church. {ben} is making friends at school, even though he's can't remember their names most days, he gets that from his dad. we've registered the big boys for a preschool soccer team thing through the church where {ben} is at school. and...it's birthday season for us. which means lots of parties. for the next 8 weeks starting next friday with {gabe} are 4 of our birthdays...plus easter & mother's day. and the first half of april we also have out of town visitors! 

and while i know this has been a dry season for friendships, it's been a great time for {matt} & i to reconnect. we've had the non-negotiable opportunity to truly become a marriage-centered family again. we've had a couple of date nights here & there. but our favorite new thing is loading up the kids & going for a bike ride. it's nice to be active, but it's not about physical exercise, it's about being able to focus & talk to one another. we give the boys a 'picnic' dinner, put them in the bike trailers & they sit quietly while we cruise around. and we just get to talk...like friends. and there are so many things about knowing that we are truly still friends that makes my heart leap & in turn fall in love with him more.







{matt} pulls the guys on the left
and i pull the ones on the right. still not convinced that i didn't get the heavier load.

life long adventures with my best friend

some may have thought i was talking about my dear, sweet husband, it's not. although he is my best friend this is in honor of my bff cliche yes, but true. it's her birthday, i'm writing a post on her...and well friendship.

this just makes my all tingly with sweet nostalgia :)
3 &4 years

{B} is 11 months older than i am. since our parents have been friends since college, we can say that she came to meet me at the hospital after i was born. whether or not that is actually true, i'm not exactly sure, but you get the idea. i've known her literally since day 1. it's been a God ordained kinda friendship that has endured time and distance over the last 28 years. i would say she's like the sister i never had, but i have 2 sisters...so i guess she's just like #3. i've been blessed to know her and continue to be a part of her life.

this friendship seemed normal to me until the last couple of years. i now have a better sense of how truly special it is. most people can say friends since high school or college and that's pretty awesome, but we have them beat. i get a little teary eyed thinking of all the things that we have gotten to experience together and still the things to come.

i can only hope & pray that there are friends like this waiting for my boys. full of love & grace. acceptance & forgiveness. encouragement & deep understanding. it's comforting knowing that they will always have each other, but i beg God sometimes for someone outside the family because we all need a friend like that. they keep us sane. :)

although i've just focused on {B} since it's her birthday, the best part of our friendship is that it wasn't just the 2 of us.  when i was about 2ish we met another family with a little girl our age...who was born just between us {B} june, {Abs} december & {k} may. we were the 3 musketeers for sure. fantastic memories of childhood, adolescence & now adulthood with these girls.

so not only is it {B}'s birthday, they are coming into town to see me this weekend!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY {B}! 

enjoy the last year of your 20's &

 may it be filled with many new adventures :)

while i'm not particularly fond of this picture,
it's the most recent one i have.