broken adventures can find fulfillment & promise

i'm having my mom do a guest post today. 
i've been a little busy with house stuff...and it's also a day in our family we like to remember. 
my brother's birthday. yes, i said brother.
many of you know i have 2 sisters but few may know my mom had a son before me 
& yesterday was his 32nd birthday. 

mom & josh

July 28 came and went uneventfully—again. It’s by and large a heart thing now, 32 years later, but never missed. Joshua David Cook had a short and generally uneventful life also. His day of birth was highly celebrated being the only “Cook boy” who was to carry on the name. But we put a lot of expectations on our children and pin a lot of our hopes there that are sometimes difficult for them to hold up. It’s also difficult and disappointing when the expectations can’t be met.

One of our hopes was that we were finished having children and our “nuclear” family was now complete. That was dashed on the rocks of God’s plan for us and we were left without knowing the purpose of Josh’s short life. Although he was a joy and greatly loved by all who knew him.

So, not wanting Kelli to be an only child, we tried to conceive again. For four long years, month-to-month, we waited on God to fulfill His plan for us. When Kristi finally arrived, it seemed ages since we began but realized later that the timing was perfect. Kaitlyn came along too and we now have three beautiful girls that have great fun with each other as adults.

An added perk is the privilege of experiencing grandchildren. We have 4 wonderful grandsons (at this time) who are a joy to all around them. Ben at 4 is curious and wanting to know the “why” of everything. Gabe is 2 and learning how to relate to a big brother and 2 younger ones. He is the “middle child” and never gets all the attention he wants. Sam and Matthew are 1—already!—and toddling around making mischief.

Where would these individuals be if Josh had lived? I’m not sure I can answer that. It’s a deeply spiritual question. What I know is this: they are part of our lives now and God worked many miracles to bring it about. Our existence on this Earth is not always what we want it to be—thankfully! We know so little and think we know so much. I’m thankful for it all. How can I be less? The heartache is redeemed in joy and our Heavenly Father loves us and the Holy Spirit stands by us through it all.

I’ve grown older and matured spiritually through the reality of loss over the 32 years. But there’s still a little part of my heart that remembers the first and last smile, that regrets not seeing a son’s maturing life, that anticipates a reunion in Heaven. Until then I’ll enjoy my grandchildren—present and future—who are my delight in life. God is good!

JOSHUA DAVID COOK   JULY 28, 1979 – OCTOBER 18, 1979

my mom is pretty remarkable and a huge part of her 
testimony is found in her pregnancies 
and births of her 4 children. 
because of her, 
i was able to find strength and fight for the twins. 
please be encouraged by her testimony today...
God is good & sovereign !
He has all the details & we just need to trust in that. 


  1. Kay, thank you for sharing that with us. Definitely something I needed to hear today as I long to see God's plan right now and I'm having to remain patient and trust in His sovereignty. Love you!


  2. great post mama Kay. puts things in perspective for sure. made me tear up. thankful for the hope of Heaven!



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