adventures in 2nd law of twins

so the tone of this space has been a little unintentionally heavy lately...good but heavy.
so i'm gonna lighten things up a bit.

i previously wrote this post on the 1st law of twins. so this is my follow up & addition to.

while i was away MIA this summer tending to my boys...it was mainly because i was experiencing what i call the 2nd law of twins. what is it you ask, let me share.

2nd Law of Twins states:

you cannot have one twin without the other. 

especially if pertaining to, but not exclusively limited to,

A. if there is a mess to make

B. a lap to be sat upon

and because pictures are worth 1000 words, please review the following as proof in defining this law.

disclaimer: no twins were hurt in or during any of these events

see!
y'all these were just pictures i snapped in a 2 month time period. when i said this summer was busy taking care of my fam...now you understand i was just cleaning up the trail these 2 left behind.

these 2 have gotten in more trouble than my older 2 ever did at this age.
some may call it teamwork...
but in our house we call it the second law of twins.

it's not about me...except for when it is pt. 2

matt & i had the privilege of attending a live Love & Respect Marriage Conference at our church this past weekend. and no we aren't having marital problems. Marriage conferences are meant for more than just healing the broken relationships. we had read the book during premarital counseling and this was a great refresher course. because while 7 years isn't an exorbitant amount of time, its just enough to think that maintaining the status quo is enough. but i don't want just enough out of life or my marriage.

these are the basic sections they spoke about:

• we were created male & female, equal but different. and different doesn't mean wrong.
• the crazy cycle: without love she reacts without respect. without respect he reacts without love. 
• the energizing cycle: his love motivates her respect. her respect motivates his love.
• the rewarded cycle: his love regardless of her respect. her respect regardless of his love.

like i said, it's one of those "back to the basics" kinda deals. and i find that we all need those every once in a while because when we revisit them, there's always a new a-ha! moment. and while dr. eggerich had lots of insightful things to share on loving or respecting your spouse, my eyes were definitely opened in a new way, to my sons. you see i'm surrounded by males...out numbered 5:1. so it suddenly clicked that this respect thing is just about loving my husband, it's also about loving my boys.

we even got a date & a night away with friends.

while i think there definitely different ways to show love & respect {the 5 love languages}, i think that it still just boils down to how we were created, male & female. when teaching, correcting or discipling my boys, i need to make sure they feel respected so that they receive it. i want my boys to grow up feeling honored & knowing how to love. because one day they will find they actually like little girls and then they'll grow up & marry one. i get that there will be crazy & over dramatic girls that will come {& hopefully go}, but my hope is that their standards are so that they know someone who can & does respect them. ya following me?!

our marriage & families are our original communities. it's definitely a time in dealing/creating community that starts with you. it requires me to be intentional here at home & in my marriage in order to be role models for our boys. the fruits of {the labor of} my marriage may not be reaped until much later, but when they are, it'll so be worth it. to have sons who know how to love & to have daughters {in-law} that respect my boys. because as a momma, isn't that one of our biggest goals in life?

how are you respecting your husband & sons?

DWC worship staff & wives.
i fully realize this is what my future family pictures could look like.

it's not about me pt.1

it seems as of late i keep hearing the message "it's not about me." and while part of me says "i get it. i get it!" but He keeps sharing it, so obviously i'm missing something...missing the bigger picture here. when we are self focused we can't see what God is doing around us. and when we can't see what He is doing around us, we don't know how to fall in line with what He is calling of us where we are.

it's like when we go to get an eye exam. for those of you who have perfect vision, let me explain what happens.
the doctor places varying prescription lenses over your eyes asking you to tell them when it's perfectly clear. and while with some you can't see anything but dark blobs, others allow you to see some shapes...they would allow you to function to some degree. but once that perfect prescription lens hits your eye, everything makes sense. it goes from being able to just see the outlines & shapes to being able to make sense of what those things are & how to continue on.

i think that is what God is trying to tell us. when we focus on where we are, we have limited vision.
if you focus on yourself or your personal struggles or how YOU are going to take care of something, it's like walking around with glasses that are just good enough, but still make you squint. you can function just fine. and we function that way because we don't know that there is something better for us.

but the Good News is that He does have something better for us.

i remember when my best friend got her first pair of eye glasses as a child. {well, maybe not the exact moment like she does, but i've heard her recall that day often.} and how when she put them on, she realized that trees were actually full of leaves and didn't just look like the lollipop trees we drew in elementary art class. she could see & her clear sight brought her better understanding. see how that works? clearer vision brings understanding to where you are. afterall, isn't that what you are trying to figure out?

i realize that this is one of those simple ideas that comes with lots of layers. so stay tuned for more...

but today what are you so focused on that you limits your vision of greater things?
instead of throwing yourself a pity party or trying to get yourself out of a fix, stop. focus on pouring life & love into someone else today. and wait to see how God restores your vision & understanding.

an update on my scare with breast cancer + a winner

if you've been around at all during the past year, you may know of my breast cancer scare.
over the past 11 months i have had 4 mammograms, 2 biopsies, 1 surgery & lots of doctor appointments. and in the end, it wasn't even breast cancer.

in late august i had the 2 masses removed. 1 because it was...well, pre-cancerous. and the other was just large. while it was the first time i'd undergone surgery {besides the c-section with the twins}, it all went well. and in the end, the masses were still benign. thank you Jesus!

and while i'm cancer free...
my heart goes out to those who have to endure so much more.
chemo. sickness. shaved heads. wigs. fear. shots. lots of doctors. multiple surgeries. headaches.

at this moment in life, i know 3 women that are fighting with all they have to beat this ugly disease. y'all, 3 women that are directly connected to me...connected so that i can help carry that burden for them. and that burden is heavy. {even though it was only a day, i know it's weight!} and the only way i made it through was on the powerful prayer of others. i pray that their hearts are filled with peace & grace. that they feel & see that God has a larger story in play. and that He might be glorified in & through them.

today as a part of SheReadsTruth {an online devotional community}, we started the book of Phillipians. and it starts with a bang! Paul being held prisoner & yet pouring his heart out to encourage others. that's just powerful. if Paul can love despite his chains {both physically & spiritually} we can too. but here's the kicker, in verse 9 it says that we can love well despite our chains, but we can love MUCH if we have a kingdom focus instead of a self focus. so let love flourish by taking your eyes off your circumstances & focus on God's bigger story!

WINNER OF THE STELLA & DOT ODYSSEY RING...

JEN CHAPPELL...
who commented on my instagram feed due to technical difficulties here,

earrings are her favorite go to piece of jewelry. 

congrats jen! 
you have 24hrs to contact me with your address so i can send you your new ring!

everyone deserves some sparkle + a giveaway!

as i mentioned in this spring, i joined Stella & Dot. 

and i've been loving it and all it has to offer me!

awesome company. awesome product. awesome community. awesome opportunity.
{and i'd say awesome again, but it might start to lose it's sense of meaning.}

as a stay at home mom, it's totally easy to get lost in the non-glamourous life of dishes, diapers & making dinner. but that doesn't mean that we have to dress the non-glamorous part!
i have a pretty straight forward & versatile wardrobe.

and the easiest way to mix up any outfit is with accessories.

i wore this tank, skinny jeans, colored sandals {remember i live in florida} & some bangles to a school carnival & Chickfila last friday night. glamourous life, i know!

i think we all need a little something pretty to put on with our daily uniform of jeans & t-shirts. 

if you haven't worn anything besides your wedding rings in a while, go dig those baubles outta your drawers & give it a try. 

seriously, you'll be amazed at what it does to your outlook on the day!

nothing pretty to wear you say?! well THAT i can help you with!

 i'm offering my 1st giveaway on this blog!
and i'm giving away this beauty...

Stella & Dot Odyssey ring in Labradorite

silver & natural labradorite stone. adjustable band fits size 5-9. lead & nickel free.
and that's my little sister showing off her ring. isn't she cute?!

GIVEAWAY DETAILS

Giveaway is open from Friday, Oct. 19 thru Sunday, Oct. 21.
please leave a comment below for each entry
all entries will be numbered and a random winner will be announced on monday
the winner will have 24hrs to contact me to claim prize.

so let's get down to it...here's how to enter:

1.Answer this question...
when it comes to jewelry, what do you wear most often:
earrings, necklaces, bracelets or rings? {1 entry}
2. follow this blog via Google Friend Connect {1 entry}
3. become a fan of Adventures with 4 under 4 on Facebook {1 entry}
4. follow @kristiruckel on twitter {1 entry}


good luck to all!

hello to a new season! and i don't mean fall...

The summer has long come & gone. Although here in Florida we are only just now catching glimpses of fall weather. like wearing jeans during the day doesn't make me sweat bullets anymore.

The summer months were definitely a busy & full season. But the biggest chunk of our time has been our transition back into full-time ministry. Yep. No more sales job for matt. And back to single-parent Saturdays & Sundays for me. But this round we are feeling more content in knowing it's where we are meant to be.

It was definitely a process, one that the hand of God was truly evident. I'm always amazed at how perfect His timing is and how He prepares our hearts even if we aren't always aware at that moment.

When we first visited the church back in January, I saw a table in the lobby for the Emerge Leadership Academy and told Matt that it would be perfect for him. He loves playing music, but he is most definitely called to discipleship...mentoring others and discovering & developing their gifts. While I just said it in passing, it planted a seed in both of our hearts. 

Through a crazy list of happenings, here we are again in full-time ministry. Matt is currently a worship leader/band director at our church & the Co-Director of Emerge. It's been an awesome time of being stretched & used, developing new relationships & putting roots down. This place is home and that feels soooo very good. 

Matt leading worship last weekend.

While Matt was more than ready for this transition, I was a bit hesitant. I know the irregular hours, the tightly budgeted lifestyle, and the extra events that come with being on staff at a church. But the Lord has been re-directing my heart back to Him & His people instead of my own selfish desires. I'm finding my middle ground between my ministry being my family & my family being there to do ministry. 

In August I attended a Dare to Be event at our church with Natalie Grant & Charlotte Gambill. It rocked my world & readjusted my perspective to a completely different angle. {If there is an event near you, GO! you won't be disappointed!} While these ladies were here to minister, they had traveled with their families for a little vacation. After all  we do live in a vacation paradise. Charlotte, in speaking to one of her kids, said that we go to church to help fill others up & in that we are filled. While that may sound selfish to some, it was so reassuring to this tired & drained momma. Because when we go to church, I'm corralling, feeding, dressing & buckling in 4 kids by myself. That is exhausting! But knowing that because I go and let the Lord use me, He will renew my strength. And in the mean time I get my heart filled to overflowing with grace. 

So now both Matt & I are walking in a place where we are called to use our gifts for the Lord on a regular basis. What more could we ask for?! When we are faithful with the little, He gives us much...even in time & rest. I feel like the women the Bible talks about in 1 & 2 Kings who have nothing "except a little". And God takes that except & makes it exceptional. 

seriously. read it!

TRUTH: 2 Kings 4:1-7

The woman only had a little oil to give, but out of her obedience & faith she gathered all the oil jars from her neighbors and poured into them. She then sold the oil & was rewarded for her obedience, not just to cover what debts she had, but with extra to live on. Only a gracious God can orchestrate something like that.

Where & how are you trusting God to make your "except" into EXCEPTIONAL?!

psst! stay tuned for a giveaway tomorrow! you won't want to miss this!!

fanning a flame deep within my soul

i've been gone...for a while now. {sorry.}

truthfully, i'd lost the vision for this little space here. or rather, maybe i was just fighting it to the death. trying in vain to hide from things so deeply rooted in my soul that it was just easier to shut down rather than to try to avoid it while writing. ya know, cause out of the heart the mouth speaks...or the fingers type.

but it's been welling up lately. it's caused a restlessness in my soul. and as my pastor said a few weeks ago, "the enemy uses restlessness as a means to kill, steal & destroy our souls." as i tried to squelch it, it surfaced in other areas. until it flat out hit me in the face a couple of days ago when i realized that all of my efforts had failed.

the Lord creates us all to work together as the body of Christ, each performing unique & equally necessary roles. and what you are created for, you can't escape. {sorry.} it eventually leaks out without you noticing. that's exactly what happened to me. the Lord began to whisper names of friends into my ears. i reached out to each person via a text, phone call, social media, etc. leaving each of those conversations feeling complete & encouraged. i immediately began to think that i was just lonely & longing for more intimate friendships. wrong! i realized that loneliness was just the mask the was covering my restless soul...truthfully, my soul that was longing to use the gifts that God had created it for. as i reflected on these conversations i realized that He had used me to speak life & truth into hearts. even though i didn't try to "use" my gifts, He sure as heck did!

exhortation..

speaking truth in love.

communicate. challenge. comfort. console. cheer on. counsel. community. conflict. choices that are God-honoring.

ya wanna know the funniest thing, i'm totally an introvert.
i'm an introvert & God has chosen to use me with a gift of communication. i mean seriously?! i have to stretch outside of myself & my cozy little comfort zone so many times in just pure obedience. like the "i'm tired & i don't want to but i'm gonna do it anyways" kinda obedience. but when i feel something pulling my heart away, i know i need to dig in even harder. because i choose Christ & His truth, in my life & the lives of those around me, over the believing in the lies until they just aren't enough any more...because in the end, they never are.

and another realization, yet totally a sign of God's intricate design at work, my love language is words of affirmation. that means i receive & show love best by speaking it! how incredibly awesome is that?! if you can't find a sense of purpose in something like that, your eyes might not be totally open.

ok back to my vision for this space...this place where i'm transparent about motherhood, being a pastor's wife {yes, matt's back in the ministry again}, raising boys, life with twins...i was afraid to be too "preachy. but i've come to realize & understand that part of my personality & giftings, is a personal & practical application of the TRUTH. i will still share all the parts of my life because as i've shared before, i know that the Lord has asked me to go before others in circumstances in order to be able to speak into their lives. because out of our trials, come our testimonies that touch hearts of others.

i also know that i have not been communicating His truth as loudly & clearly as i should. not every post will be a preaching, but i hope you will find some comfort {& laughs} in my mishaps. some companionship in knowing you aren't doing this crazy life alone. and definitely find me cheering you on, even if from afar. just know that there will be a little more Jesus showing in this place.

so here's the truth i'm leaving you with: read ephesians 4:1-16. it speaks truth of our gifts & how we are called to use them...all of us together.

   He handed out gifts above and below, filled heaven with his gifts, filled earth with his gifts. He handed out gifts of apostle, prophet, evangelist, and pastor-teacher to train Christ's followers in skilled servant work, working within Christ's body, the church, until we're all moving rhythmically and easily with each other, efficient and graceful in response to God's Son, fully mature adults, fully developed within and without, fully alive like Christ.

what has He gifted you with? and are you willing to use them?