it's not about me...except for when it is pt. 2

matt & i had the privilege of attending a live Love & Respect Marriage Conference at our church this past weekend. and no we aren't having marital problems. Marriage conferences are meant for more than just healing the broken relationships. we had read the book during premarital counseling and this was a great refresher course. because while 7 years isn't an exorbitant amount of time, its just enough to think that maintaining the status quo is enough. but i don't want just enough out of life or my marriage.

these are the basic sections they spoke about:

  • we were created male & female, equal but different. and different doesn't mean wrong.
  • the crazy cycle: without love she reacts without respect. without respect he reacts without love. 
  • the energizing cycle: his love motivates her respect. her respect motivates his love.
  • the rewarded cycle: his love regardless of her respect. her respect regardless of his love.

like i said, it's one of those "back to the basics" kinda deals. and i find that we all need those every once in a while because when we revisit them, there's always a new a-ha! moment. and while dr. eggerich had lots of insightful things to share on loving or respecting your spouse, my eyes were definitely opened in a new way, to my sons. you see i'm surrounded by males...out numbered 5:1. so it suddenly clicked that this respect thing is just about loving my husband, it's also about loving my boys.

we even got a date & a night away with friends.
while i think there definitely different ways to show love & respect {the 5 love languages}, i think that it still just boils down to how we were created, male & female. when teaching, correcting or discipling my boys, i need to make sure they feel respected so that they receive it. i want my boys to grow up feeling honored & knowing how to love. because one day they will find they actually like little girls and then they'll grow up & marry one. i get that there will be crazy & over dramatic girls that will come {& hopefully go}, but my hope is that their standards are so that they know someone who can & does respect them. ya following me?!

our marriage & families are our original communities. it's definitely a time in dealing/creating community that starts with you. it requires me to be intentional here at home & in my marriage in order to be role models for our boys. the fruits of {the labor of} my marriage may not be reaped until much later, but when they are, it'll so be worth it. to have sons who know how to love & to have daughters {in-law} that respect my boys. because as a momma, isn't that one of our biggest goals in life?

how are you respecting your husband & sons?

DWC worship staff & wives.
i fully realize this is what my future family pictures could look like.

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