4.30.2012

adventures in mommyhood: rediscovering things about myself

i'm definitely in a phase of life where

 i'm searching for & reevaluating a lot of things. 

i'm searching my heart & God's heart for me...for what He's calling me to do & who I am in Him. 
{i have drafts of posts that i've repeatedly tried to write for the last couple of months.}
and thus far, i've come up with these things:

my style as a mom of 4 active little boys. 

i'm no longer pregnant. i'm not longer breastfeeding babies. and i'm no longer just hanging out in my pj's every day just trying to survive. i turn 29 in a couple of weeks, so i need to remember to be age appropriate but still cute & stylish. and...i just moved a super humid climate. so what does my wardrobe look like now?

friends. 

i realize i keep saying that i don't have friends. that is INCORRECT. i DO have friends, a lot of them...all over the country. i realize that  i'm longing for friends here. someone to go out with: see a movie, grab dinner, or a shopping buddy. so far, my loving & willing husband has filled these rolls. but i cannot expect him to always do this or want to do this. but when you're at home or always have 4 little guys {literally} running around you in circles, how in the world do you meet people that want to be your friend?!

a little something i can call my own. 

not sure if you know this, but i live in a house with 5 other people who all happen to be male. yep, it's true. and for the most part i love doing the things that they love, yet part of me is yearning for more. i never thought i'd say this...but looking for something apart from them. something that just for me...yet within my very limited available resources of time & money.

a creative outlet of self expression. 

i love having a creative outlet & that looks different depending on the stage of life i'm in. i do not find myself artistic by any means but i have a good sense of design {what's pleasing to the eye}. confusing? well i mean, i can picture things in my head, but i can't always make things to appear as in my vision...does that make sense? in the past i've dabbled with doodling, photography, a little digital editing, home projects. so in short i like to re-edit or arrange not create from scratch. {you can follow me on instagram @kristiruckel}

rediscovering my what my strengths are & defining my passions.

i recently started to follow hailey at the tiny twig because she started a series about finding our passion in life. one of her posts was about discerning your strengths to help define your passion. i didn't take any tests this time, but from past tests & knowing my personality i'd say some of my bigger strengths are being relatable/relevant, adaptability & learning {or trying} something new.  now i'll be honest, my personality is one that is seemingly always trying to figure out what i'm passionate about. but in the end, i know it's young women...building relationship & through that being able to speak God's love into their life. i've come to understand that  i only know these things in part because i still am not in the place for the Lord to fully reveal his plan to me. but i will embrace these things as i know them & continue to always seek them out.

working on my weaknesses

ready for some truth?! i believe that we need all identify our personal weakness, otherwise, they can be an easy foothold to be used against us. i'm a slight introvert. meaning, instead of just running from one party to the next, i need some quiet to recharge before the next event. it also causes me to withdraw when things get overwhelming. these things are a constant battle, but one i know i can win with the right tools: a little quiet, a little bible time & some coffee. i've learned that i'm wanting some of the things above to help me overcome some of my weaknesses. and usually that means battling it out head on. 

so maybe this is my readjustment of my new year's goals. things for me to work & focus on.  i'll be writing on these areas of life in the near future. that means some what i wore & mommy style posts. hopefully some posts of playdates & things i'm doing to meet & develop relationship with new people. 

what about you...what are some things that you are searching for?


6 comments:

  1. I know how you feel.. Although I only have 1 child (outside of the womb) right now.. But I struggle with who I really am all the time. And I have no idea how it happened but I don't really have any friends where I live either, I'm not very good with making them. Thankfully my sister has moved back to the area but she's dealing with her own major issues right now.. Sorry, this was a ramble.

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    1. i knew i wasn't the only one feeling this way, so i knew i needed to share. and thats what i love about blogging- this online community! these sorts of thoughts/feelings always feel like ramblings. would love to hear what you learn through it!

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  2. Right there with you. I have several ladies I enjoy spending a little time with but no good friends here. I really miss our old Greenbrier crowd. :) I'm also in a place where I'm trying to figure out what God is doing in and around me. I'm 34 and still trying to figure out who I am when you take away the wife and mother. God is doing new things and they are confusing, and a bit stressful, and it all adds up to me not really knowing what comes next, and I really hate that part. Love and miss you like crazy!

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    1. it's definitely harder when you're the one who leaves the "crowd". but i'm sure God is doing great things in & around you. like i said, i'm always one who is constantly trying to find my place, but its cause our places are always changing! so yes, confusing, stressful...but SO EXCITING! He just likes keepin ya on the edge of your seat :) so hang on!

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  3. Holy moley, lady. I think we are the same person. I literally could have written this same thing, especially the strengths/weaknesses part.

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    1. i knew you'd be a good fit for me :)

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