a non-adventurous, predictable conversation with a stranger

today i'm linking up with Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop. i'm not exactly following the prompt to a T, but it did get me to thinking...so instead of writing about my responses to unsolicited parenting advice, here are typical questions i'm asked if not in just one conversation when i'm out & about. most of the time i graciously smile & give a polite answer, but my mind and hopefully not the look on my face is saying something different. so here are the questions and my polite responses** & crazy thoughts*** all done with a smile on my face.

10. "you've got your hands full!"
** Oh, I still have 1 arm open, so I'm doing good.
*** yes, thank you. would like to open the door for me?
9. after a brief glance over my tribe... "all boys? wow. you really do have your hands full!"
** yes, 4 boys...
***there are trucks, cars & blue covering each one of them. no pink anywhere people. boys, they're BOYS!
8. "are they fraternal/identical twins? that one's so much smaller."
** yes they're identical twins. yeah, he's my little peanut.
*** i guess they could be close in age, but there's not that big a size difference. they look the same to me.
7. "how old are [the twins]? and your other ones?"
** the twins are 11 months now, my oldest is 4 and my second is 2.
*** please don't ask what the age difference is...please don't ask what the age difference is.
6. "how old were they when the twins were born?"
** 3 & 16 months smile
*** dang it! please just move on...
5."was it natural or did you do fertilization?"

** umm...natural???

*** really?! 

4."do twins run in the family?"

** well, they're identical, so that can happen to anyone. spontaneous twins they call them.

*** identical twins don't run in families people. 

3. "was it a c-section or a natural birth?"
**ok, they came a month early so it was a c-section.
***again with the overly personal questions from a stranger. i don't feel like giving you my medical history.
2."better you than me. i don't think i could go that."
** well thank you!
*** is this some kind of back-handed compliment?
1. "oh, you don't breastfeed. you should. it's best for the baby."
** well, i did breastfeed for 8 months but now, we're just doing formula.
*** thanks for making me feel like a loser. and yes, thank you, i do know that, but take a look at my life and tell me then if you would breastfeed.

i wish i could say that this was just a one time deal, but it happens. every. time. some days i feel like a circus freak show. and then i step back and look at the circus that i am trying to contain while out and laugh at the spectacle my tribe is. :) although i never would have asked to attract this much attention, it does make for interesting stories...and makes every outing take a little longer. if you know me personally, i'm sure you'll chuckle at the thought of me getting stopped every 5 feet. if you don't believe me, i'll swing by and pick you up on the way to the store next time.

i've posted this picture before...
but i think it lends the necessary visual of why i get stopped.

* please don't be offended if you've asked me any of the questions above. this post was made out of humor, not to make anyone feel bad or to put them in their place. and besides if you've asked & reading this blog, you're someone i know and you should be laughing at my continuos awkward encounters. :)